I remember it well..

on a relatively cloudless night, you lying on the floor, me sitting on the swing. Me singing Silent Sea, and you looking up at the sky, though cloudless, starless too.

I remember it well, we crashed.

My Cuppa coffee

the cup infront is pale pink. so pale if seen in a distance, one might even mistake it as white. underneath is a saucer, brown in colour, which the size is just right, not threatening the limelight of the cup, and not letting its own fade. on top of the cup, layers of brown, deep brown and white are being carefully laid on, so forming a love shape. it isnt like any other coffee art, the foam, if being looked at long enough, you'll see that its popping out.

putting in the right amount of sugar iss absolutely essential, it must be not less, and strictly not more than one third spoon of brown sugar. slide it down the side of the cup. slowly. leave the spoon - silver, worn out, so severely scratched that its impossible to see anything from the reflection off it, in the cup for roughly 3 quarter of a minute. the sugar dissolves into nothingness. dont leave it untouch for too long though, coz the heat of the coffee might slip away while you are busy with your small talks, and leaves nothing to warm. stir it slowly, lightly, let the spoon dance. in tempo. slightly fast, i'd say around tempo allegro. carefully slide the spoon out of the coffee through the hole made early when being put in. put it on the sauce rather carelessly, yes carelessly, so it makes a crispy "ding", with a light echo. it sounded awesome =)

warm up your fingers, specially your thumb, so as you pinch the ear of the cup, you'll be able to balance the cup and not disturb the foam. deliver it towards you mouth half way while pushing your head towards the coffee half way, showing mutual respect by meeting in the middle of the distance. the flavour find its way into your nostrile. excited. put your lips at the edge of the cup, where the border of the inner cup and the outer are being drawn - the pink from outside and white from inside. sip in half coffee, feel the bitterness and sweetness simultaneously, and then control your lips so a little bit of foam can steal its way into your mouth with the coffee. taste the texture, mix the foam and coffee, and then feel the coffee hidroslide down your throat, every inch, every secon, every sip...

fullfulling...

Lose Control

You just have to accept that sometimes in life, things get out of control, and there is nothing you can do about it. what you can do, what you have to do, is to be there, just be there at the moment, dont run away from it, dont try to feed it with lame excuses. be there, choose, and things will lead itself to an end. good or bad, who cares?

it ends, anyway.

Live Life.

caught up with a fren back in Malaysia, just. Noticed the conversation was so different from when I was still in Malaysia. its... lacking something, humor? came to know a lot of my frens are pursuing their lifes, their responsiblities...

...working freelance in stage production
...auditor/accounting
...barista
...clerk
...direct selling
...engineer
...media producer
... ... cook

for just a split second, I had a panic attack. well, panic might not be the right word. a sudden wobble. yep, wobble's the word. its like a 3 second minor earth quake. not strong enough to destruct, but enough to be felt and feared of. haha, I dont know what was that.

did I miss my frens? or am I questioning the future I am choosing for myself? but at least I know I am not the only one now.

live life, I want to.

No music, no life?

so, I lost every piece of music in my laptop

... again.

if you're a musicloog, you'll know losing your music, is like being castrated (well, maybe not as exaggerating...) you feel a BIG part of you being taken away, useless in a way. whilst being sad and empty in one hand, I beared a word in my mind on the other, relief. surprisingly.

whats more important, is every single proof of my life in Wellington, since 18 months ago, my photos. its like finishing a very exciting novel, only to wake up the next morning and find the novel, although still clearly imprinted in your mind, never existed. you wont be able to show it to someone else.

the upside is... you can still tell the story out of your memory, adding on a liiiiiiitle bit of imagination. =)

A little cup of Significance

coz I made this.

and its close to perfect =)

And,

it started to rain, after two years of draught.

it was 5 in the morning, the clouds started its slow march towards the sky of the city since hours ago, but it wasnt threatening to invade into the city - the streets, buildings, car parks and dreams. planning to make its was across the city, as if a shepard, travelling with his herd, stoppin for nothing cept for food and water. in this case, stoppin for nothing, cept until it cannot hold its growing herd (or herds), and have to abandon the weight.

but it rained. here. now. while the cloud cried into oblivion, it felt nothing. nothing but an incredible sense of relief. and nothing excites it even more.