ok. here is something...
everyday, I would slip into this pair of dark black jeans to work. its like my work pants, so I dont ruin all my other pants. and so, every first time I went into the toilet at my work place, and everytime I wanted to unzip my pants, I would find that my fly was already unzip (aaaalll the waaaaaay down...). now I have very bad memories when it comes to small things like this, and I thought I really forgot to ... you know... zip my pants.
it was really bothering me. am I really stupid? am I brought up to forget to zip my pants? all sorts of question came popping in. and it grew worse. have I not zip my pants my entire life? did everyone of my friends notice it and didnt say, and that everytime they describe me, they would say, "you know? the fly guy?". I was too scared to ask my room mate about it.
later, one afternoon, I was late for work, and I was out side with my shopping pants (instead of my working pants). I ran to work with it. I went into the toilet that day expecting an opened fly. to my suprise, it wasnt!! later I found the fly on that dark black jeans loosen.
to my relief. Im not dumb afterall.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
drama king?
ever wonder why someone could go all hyperactive, then came a sudden gloom parking on top of his head?
reason is, when something good is happening, he would be so happy that he couldnt control himself, but when he thought of him having to go away for something else, say work, the very thought of him abandoning all that excitement(well, doesnt have to something real exciting..) and all thats going to happening, just that, could take away the sunshine in his heart, every last bit of ray will be filtered away.
drama king? or normal?
reason is, when something good is happening, he would be so happy that he couldnt control himself, but when he thought of him having to go away for something else, say work, the very thought of him abandoning all that excitement(well, doesnt have to something real exciting..) and all thats going to happening, just that, could take away the sunshine in his heart, every last bit of ray will be filtered away.
drama king? or normal?
Friday, May 26, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
"Disgrace"
by, J.M. Coetzee
of all the books I've read, this guy can really write. winner of the 1999 booker prize, I finish every chapter of this book with one word stucked to my mouth - "wow.."
of all the books I've read, this guy can really write. winner of the 1999 booker prize, I finish every chapter of this book with one word stucked to my mouth - "wow.."
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Damn!
so I went to her blog and read through quite a few posts. how was it?
it was heart aching.
what had been definite are now shattered. what had been hatred is now softing down. why did I even considered reading it? while the memories come flushing down on me, all I could do is sit in the middle of the cold night, listen to my music, and pretend nothing had happened.
talk about love triangle huh? Im missing someone who is missing someone else.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
damn.
it was heart aching.
what had been definite are now shattered. what had been hatred is now softing down. why did I even considered reading it? while the memories come flushing down on me, all I could do is sit in the middle of the cold night, listen to my music, and pretend nothing had happened.
talk about love triangle huh? Im missing someone who is missing someone else.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
damn.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
WHAT IF...
she tells you she told her friends her own expenrience to console them, and you know one third of that experience is you.
how would you feel?
how would you feel?
Sunday, May 14, 2006
it fuckin poured on me..
I was sleeping when it happened. one drip.. two drips... then splash...
apparently the sprinkle of the 7th floor broke. 4 inches of water came watering down in the flat upstairs.. which eventually penetrated the floor, and came through my ceiling.
awesome.
life is full of suprise huh? now if you ask me to tell you one bad thing about living in an aprtment. "you're into it too, when other people fuck up, whether you like it or not".
apparently the sprinkle of the 7th floor broke. 4 inches of water came watering down in the flat upstairs.. which eventually penetrated the floor, and came through my ceiling.
awesome.
life is full of suprise huh? now if you ask me to tell you one bad thing about living in an aprtment. "you're into it too, when other people fuck up, whether you like it or not".
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I feel empty
numb.. hollow.. unfulfilled.. unsolid.. oblivion.. blank.. desolated.....(pick one..)
since when, I dont know, I'm experiencing this sudden halt on life. its been going on so long I dont even realise the changes. the emptiness is taking advantage of the infinite hours, easing its way into my life, until one day, I would startled from my dream, eyes wide open, trying to catch a glimpse of the reality and grab hold of it. and then I would feel like crying, and yet my eyes would still be as dry as the desert.
and everything changes..
the sun doesnt comes up on its usual route and time. people doesnt have breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon and dinner in the evening. the phone doesnt ring as often, and even when it does, the conversation would be topics no other than work. friends arent friends. enemies arent enemies. reading, drawing, doesnt seemed interesting anymore. and Wellington seems to be no more than a rat cage, with the same people, walking on the same street, day after day after day after day...
worse of all.. I dont really care anymore. I am searching for something (for myself?) but before I found it, I need to know that an indifferent experience exist in some corner of this dimension. I need to know when I tell this to someone, (to anyone!) there are responses which do not merely console, but convince.
I feel empty.
since when, I dont know, I'm experiencing this sudden halt on life. its been going on so long I dont even realise the changes. the emptiness is taking advantage of the infinite hours, easing its way into my life, until one day, I would startled from my dream, eyes wide open, trying to catch a glimpse of the reality and grab hold of it. and then I would feel like crying, and yet my eyes would still be as dry as the desert.
and everything changes..
the sun doesnt comes up on its usual route and time. people doesnt have breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon and dinner in the evening. the phone doesnt ring as often, and even when it does, the conversation would be topics no other than work. friends arent friends. enemies arent enemies. reading, drawing, doesnt seemed interesting anymore. and Wellington seems to be no more than a rat cage, with the same people, walking on the same street, day after day after day after day...
worse of all.. I dont really care anymore. I am searching for something (for myself?) but before I found it, I need to know that an indifferent experience exist in some corner of this dimension. I need to know when I tell this to someone, (to anyone!) there are responses which do not merely console, but convince.
I feel empty.
Friday, May 05, 2006
************
been keeping myself pretty busy lately. prehaps not busy enough. had quite a few things stucked in my mind these few.
sorry... I dont feel like finishing this post at the moment.
sorry... I dont feel like finishing this post at the moment.
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