One of very few pcitures of the glemore gang (esther's missing!)
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
a pretty "fly" story
ok. here is something...
everyday, I would slip into this pair of dark black jeans to work. its like my work pants, so I dont ruin all my other pants. and so, every first time I went into the toilet at my work place, and everytime I wanted to unzip my pants, I would find that my fly was already unzip (aaaalll the waaaaaay down...). now I have very bad memories when it comes to small things like this, and I thought I really forgot to ... you know... zip my pants.
it was really bothering me. am I really stupid? am I brought up to forget to zip my pants? all sorts of question came popping in. and it grew worse. have I not zip my pants my entire life? did everyone of my friends notice it and didnt say, and that everytime they describe me, they would say, "you know? the fly guy?". I was too scared to ask my room mate about it.
later, one afternoon, I was late for work, and I was out side with my shopping pants (instead of my working pants). I ran to work with it. I went into the toilet that day expecting an opened fly. to my suprise, it wasnt!! later I found the fly on that dark black jeans loosen.
to my relief. Im not dumb afterall.
everyday, I would slip into this pair of dark black jeans to work. its like my work pants, so I dont ruin all my other pants. and so, every first time I went into the toilet at my work place, and everytime I wanted to unzip my pants, I would find that my fly was already unzip (aaaalll the waaaaaay down...). now I have very bad memories when it comes to small things like this, and I thought I really forgot to ... you know... zip my pants.
it was really bothering me. am I really stupid? am I brought up to forget to zip my pants? all sorts of question came popping in. and it grew worse. have I not zip my pants my entire life? did everyone of my friends notice it and didnt say, and that everytime they describe me, they would say, "you know? the fly guy?". I was too scared to ask my room mate about it.
later, one afternoon, I was late for work, and I was out side with my shopping pants (instead of my working pants). I ran to work with it. I went into the toilet that day expecting an opened fly. to my suprise, it wasnt!! later I found the fly on that dark black jeans loosen.
to my relief. Im not dumb afterall.
drama king?
ever wonder why someone could go all hyperactive, then came a sudden gloom parking on top of his head?
reason is, when something good is happening, he would be so happy that he couldnt control himself, but when he thought of him having to go away for something else, say work, the very thought of him abandoning all that excitement(well, doesnt have to something real exciting..) and all thats going to happening, just that, could take away the sunshine in his heart, every last bit of ray will be filtered away.
drama king? or normal?
reason is, when something good is happening, he would be so happy that he couldnt control himself, but when he thought of him having to go away for something else, say work, the very thought of him abandoning all that excitement(well, doesnt have to something real exciting..) and all thats going to happening, just that, could take away the sunshine in his heart, every last bit of ray will be filtered away.
drama king? or normal?
Friday, May 26, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
"Disgrace"
by, J.M. Coetzee
of all the books I've read, this guy can really write. winner of the 1999 booker prize, I finish every chapter of this book with one word stucked to my mouth - "wow.."
of all the books I've read, this guy can really write. winner of the 1999 booker prize, I finish every chapter of this book with one word stucked to my mouth - "wow.."
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Damn!
so I went to her blog and read through quite a few posts. how was it?
it was heart aching.
what had been definite are now shattered. what had been hatred is now softing down. why did I even considered reading it? while the memories come flushing down on me, all I could do is sit in the middle of the cold night, listen to my music, and pretend nothing had happened.
talk about love triangle huh? Im missing someone who is missing someone else.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
damn.
it was heart aching.
what had been definite are now shattered. what had been hatred is now softing down. why did I even considered reading it? while the memories come flushing down on me, all I could do is sit in the middle of the cold night, listen to my music, and pretend nothing had happened.
talk about love triangle huh? Im missing someone who is missing someone else.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
damn.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
WHAT IF...
she tells you she told her friends her own expenrience to console them, and you know one third of that experience is you.
how would you feel?
how would you feel?
Sunday, May 14, 2006
it fuckin poured on me..
I was sleeping when it happened. one drip.. two drips... then splash...
apparently the sprinkle of the 7th floor broke. 4 inches of water came watering down in the flat upstairs.. which eventually penetrated the floor, and came through my ceiling.
awesome.
life is full of suprise huh? now if you ask me to tell you one bad thing about living in an aprtment. "you're into it too, when other people fuck up, whether you like it or not".
apparently the sprinkle of the 7th floor broke. 4 inches of water came watering down in the flat upstairs.. which eventually penetrated the floor, and came through my ceiling.
awesome.
life is full of suprise huh? now if you ask me to tell you one bad thing about living in an aprtment. "you're into it too, when other people fuck up, whether you like it or not".
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I feel empty
numb.. hollow.. unfulfilled.. unsolid.. oblivion.. blank.. desolated.....(pick one..)
since when, I dont know, I'm experiencing this sudden halt on life. its been going on so long I dont even realise the changes. the emptiness is taking advantage of the infinite hours, easing its way into my life, until one day, I would startled from my dream, eyes wide open, trying to catch a glimpse of the reality and grab hold of it. and then I would feel like crying, and yet my eyes would still be as dry as the desert.
and everything changes..
the sun doesnt comes up on its usual route and time. people doesnt have breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon and dinner in the evening. the phone doesnt ring as often, and even when it does, the conversation would be topics no other than work. friends arent friends. enemies arent enemies. reading, drawing, doesnt seemed interesting anymore. and Wellington seems to be no more than a rat cage, with the same people, walking on the same street, day after day after day after day...
worse of all.. I dont really care anymore. I am searching for something (for myself?) but before I found it, I need to know that an indifferent experience exist in some corner of this dimension. I need to know when I tell this to someone, (to anyone!) there are responses which do not merely console, but convince.
I feel empty.
since when, I dont know, I'm experiencing this sudden halt on life. its been going on so long I dont even realise the changes. the emptiness is taking advantage of the infinite hours, easing its way into my life, until one day, I would startled from my dream, eyes wide open, trying to catch a glimpse of the reality and grab hold of it. and then I would feel like crying, and yet my eyes would still be as dry as the desert.
and everything changes..
the sun doesnt comes up on its usual route and time. people doesnt have breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon and dinner in the evening. the phone doesnt ring as often, and even when it does, the conversation would be topics no other than work. friends arent friends. enemies arent enemies. reading, drawing, doesnt seemed interesting anymore. and Wellington seems to be no more than a rat cage, with the same people, walking on the same street, day after day after day after day...
worse of all.. I dont really care anymore. I am searching for something (for myself?) but before I found it, I need to know that an indifferent experience exist in some corner of this dimension. I need to know when I tell this to someone, (to anyone!) there are responses which do not merely console, but convince.
I feel empty.
Friday, May 05, 2006
************
been keeping myself pretty busy lately. prehaps not busy enough. had quite a few things stucked in my mind these few.
sorry... I dont feel like finishing this post at the moment.
sorry... I dont feel like finishing this post at the moment.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
all there is about
woke up this morning feeling excited. why? coz its sunday!!
after forcing myself out of bed, I wondered around every corner of my flat, buggin my very-busy-with-assignment flatties. after more then an hour. I found that I have exactly Nothing to do. then why was I so excited this morning? why did I look forward to this day when every monday came?
it's Jazz man. it is all there is about.
after forcing myself out of bed, I wondered around every corner of my flat, buggin my very-busy-with-assignment flatties. after more then an hour. I found that I have exactly Nothing to do. then why was I so excited this morning? why did I look forward to this day when every monday came?
it's Jazz man. it is all there is about.
such a jerk..
people wont wanna know what time you finish work or talk about "what have you been up to?" in a disco! they demand more interesting topics such as ... what?! I dont even know what they want.
Yoda:"hm... jerk, you had been, yesterday night."
me:"sorry I am truly, master Yoda, the force was not with me."
Yoda:"hm... jerk, you had been, yesterday night."
me:"sorry I am truly, master Yoda, the force was not with me."
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I like... *updated*
I like a full-spreaded toast. I like each corner of the toast equally spreaded with butter, nutella or some other crap.
I like to scoop a tea spoon full of sugar and only drop half in my coffee, while the other half on the saucer, even though I know I only want half a tea spoon.
I like to drop the sugar at the side of the cup to not ruin the coffee foam. (thanks to AK.. haha)
I like to walk alone on the street with my head phones on, pretending not a single soul in this town knows me.
I like coffee, so much I couldnt live without it. but the fact is, just merely a year ago, I hated coffee like the devil.
I like to play the guitar, but can get really frustrated sometime when I failed to play what I want to play.
I like to have a few different groups of friends, so that when I fucked up in one, I can run away to another.
I like... well, I often expect a lot from people around, though I know I shouldn't have, and that they are not obligated to fulfull the expectation.
I like to hate myself sometimes. for every thing I am, and everything that I am yet to become.
I like Jazz, or more, I LOVE Jazz. its my life.
I learned more about myself today. some part ugly, some part not, but they are all me. me me and me.
I like to scoop a tea spoon full of sugar and only drop half in my coffee, while the other half on the saucer, even though I know I only want half a tea spoon.
I like to drop the sugar at the side of the cup to not ruin the coffee foam. (thanks to AK.. haha)
I like to walk alone on the street with my head phones on, pretending not a single soul in this town knows me.
I like coffee, so much I couldnt live without it. but the fact is, just merely a year ago, I hated coffee like the devil.
I like to play the guitar, but can get really frustrated sometime when I failed to play what I want to play.
I like to have a few different groups of friends, so that when I fucked up in one, I can run away to another.
I like... well, I often expect a lot from people around, though I know I shouldn't have, and that they are not obligated to fulfull the expectation.
I like to hate myself sometimes. for every thing I am, and everything that I am yet to become.
I like Jazz, or more, I LOVE Jazz. its my life.
I learned more about myself today. some part ugly, some part not, but they are all me. me me and me.
Single-bastards
I kept getting the wrong feed back about the Canadian and the American. I mean, the incidents and people were real, but the passion, wasnt. was it?
It was being wrote to jot down my encounterment with a girl, the american, as a passerby, and of course, who eventually left my life. Adding in a bit of my imagination, and a bit of writting urge. where else the canadian, was completely unexpected.
that was some imagination huh? well, I guess us, single-bastards have a better idea of how it feels to admire and be admired (without being manipulated by any side). after being single for almost 2 years now, I kinda proved that aye?
It was being wrote to jot down my encounterment with a girl, the american, as a passerby, and of course, who eventually left my life. Adding in a bit of my imagination, and a bit of writting urge. where else the canadian, was completely unexpected.
that was some imagination huh? well, I guess us, single-bastards have a better idea of how it feels to admire and be admired (without being manipulated by any side). after being single for almost 2 years now, I kinda proved that aye?
候鸟, 五月天
听了他们的歌那么久, 从来没真正去想想他们在唱些什么. 呵呵...
"冰箱上有字条, 桌上有菜
电锅里面有饭, 没有人在
电话里的独白, 还在等待
一个人的表情, 怎么安排."
...
"包厢里的狂欢, 曲终人散
长夜里的空白, 消化不完
灵魂总是要贪, 片刻灿烂
那双唇的孤单, 变得野蛮
那陌生的阳光, 照在床单
昨夜发生的事, 不想再猜
而枕边的人啊, 一直在换
每一次都以为, 到了终站 "
"冰箱上有字条, 桌上有菜
电锅里面有饭, 没有人在
电话里的独白, 还在等待
一个人的表情, 怎么安排."
...
"包厢里的狂欢, 曲终人散
长夜里的空白, 消化不完
灵魂总是要贪, 片刻灿烂
那双唇的孤单, 变得野蛮
那陌生的阳光, 照在床单
昨夜发生的事, 不想再猜
而枕边的人啊, 一直在换
每一次都以为, 到了终站 "
Monday, April 17, 2006
Coffee?
"do you want a coffe? I've just learnt how to make them, I thought now that your coffee girl is not around, you'd need a substitute?"
this time, she's a Canadian.
life ISSS about goodbyes, a bottle of Monteith's, and a cup of coffee huh?
this time, she's a Canadian.
life ISSS about goodbyes, a bottle of Monteith's, and a cup of coffee huh?
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Fourth chapter
the final chapter.
I couldnt be bother to look at what she wore anymore. shes got an attarctive feature, small pink lips, medium nose, she's even got a small kite shape diamond ear rings hanging on her ears. but the lime light was on her eyes -- her ocean-clear blue eyes. I noticed it when she asked:
" where actually ARE you from?".
"I'm from Malaysia"
"oh... I see..."
"ever been there?"
"neh..."
and thats about everything she'd ever learned about me.
the first few coffees she ever made me, it was abit tasteless, a coffee made out of obligation.
the second last coffee she made me was one of the best coffee I'd ever had.
the last coffee she made me today, was bitter. was it the coffee? or was it me?
she said good bye at 10.30pm. I didn't (couldn't?) say anything more than that too. if I were to go back in time, I miiiiight have said more. stupid me.
again, life goes on. its all about goodbyes... and a bottle of Monteth's black aye?
I couldnt be bother to look at what she wore anymore. shes got an attarctive feature, small pink lips, medium nose, she's even got a small kite shape diamond ear rings hanging on her ears. but the lime light was on her eyes -- her ocean-clear blue eyes. I noticed it when she asked:
" where actually ARE you from?".
"I'm from Malaysia"
"oh... I see..."
"ever been there?"
"neh..."
and thats about everything she'd ever learned about me.
the first few coffees she ever made me, it was abit tasteless, a coffee made out of obligation.
the second last coffee she made me was one of the best coffee I'd ever had.
the last coffee she made me today, was bitter. was it the coffee? or was it me?
she said good bye at 10.30pm. I didn't (couldn't?) say anything more than that too. if I were to go back in time, I miiiiight have said more. stupid me.
again, life goes on. its all about goodbyes... and a bottle of Monteth's black aye?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Adidas Metro Attitude
Yes, I did it. I swiped my National Bank card and bought it today, this afternoon, to reward myself for... whatever reason. I deserve it. for the price of the shoe, it even comes with a name, Adidas Metro Attitude.
cool huh? just dont ask me the price.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Third Chapter
she wore a normal black T. black 2/3 pants. with the same marble balls necklace and a black apron. cept today, she's got a pair of casual-round headed-silver-sparkling shoes on. as if an innocent star standing out alone in the deep dark sky.
she made me another one of those flatwhite she proundly claim the best. Today, us holding each a cup of flatwhite after work, we talked for the first time ever. I took a sip of my coffee, it was still a bit bitter. Learned that she is 19, currently travelling around New Zealand. after NZ, she will return to the states for college, studying psychology (AK?). and that... she is leaving this thursday. I took another sip of my coffee. its sweeter this time, with the half tea spoon sugar I scooped in earlier completely dissolved.
I asked her if she is working on wednesday after I down the last cubic of coffee in my cup. delighted that I will see her at least once more, I said goodbye and thank her for the coffee.
I walked home with a smile, yet some where in the curve of my lips, there was the presence of sadness.
she made me another one of those flatwhite she proundly claim the best. Today, us holding each a cup of flatwhite after work, we talked for the first time ever. I took a sip of my coffee, it was still a bit bitter. Learned that she is 19, currently travelling around New Zealand. after NZ, she will return to the states for college, studying psychology (AK?). and that... she is leaving this thursday. I took another sip of my coffee. its sweeter this time, with the half tea spoon sugar I scooped in earlier completely dissolved.
I asked her if she is working on wednesday after I down the last cubic of coffee in my cup. delighted that I will see her at least once more, I said goodbye and thank her for the coffee.
I walked home with a smile, yet some where in the curve of my lips, there was the presence of sadness.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Joy "vs" or "&" suffering
"Joy and suffering are as one. why? is it because when you found the former, the latter will follow?"
Split second observation
it was the same Levi's jeans. but this time, black silky-sleeveless top, with a chinese style colar. add on a string of black marble balls hanging on her delicate neck. her hair? speechlessly fabulous.
just as I thought it would all end in a glance, she stopped and said to me: "coffee?". the same smile attached to the edge of her lips. mine too.
just as I thought it would all end in a glance, she stopped and said to me: "coffee?". the same smile attached to the edge of her lips. mine too.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Did I?
Did I not let my smile sneak out and play around the edge of my lips when she pass me by?
Did I not felt contented when she did the same?
Did I not panic when she spoke to me in her american slange?
Did I not felt happy when she said "you're awesome!!"?
Did I not felt dissapointed whenever she is not working?
Did I not felt contented when she did the same?
Did I not panic when she spoke to me in her american slange?
Did I not felt happy when she said "you're awesome!!"?
Did I not felt dissapointed whenever she is not working?
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Whats hot?
tight Levi's Jeans. black singlet with lace shoulder strap. blondy hair messily, yet gorgeously tied up.
now thats hot.
now thats hot.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Just another day
I guess everything happened on a 'just like any other' day huh? the tsunami, September 11th attack, when Newton found out the existence of gravity, when I broke my thumb...
well, today is one of those 'just like any other (work)day - and then something happened' day.
I had a flippin shitty day at work. spilling over a bucket of moping water was not the worst thing that happened when my chef is in a bad mood. spilling over 8 litre of oil in the store room was. seriously, seriously... it was pretty messed up.
there was about half an inch of oil racing across the surface of the store room. oil flood, literally. (callum, I guess you would say "wowses... ... awesome.").
ah well... shit happens. at least I got a bottle of free beer after work.
well, today is one of those 'just like any other (work)day - and then something happened' day.
I had a flippin shitty day at work. spilling over a bucket of moping water was not the worst thing that happened when my chef is in a bad mood. spilling over 8 litre of oil in the store room was. seriously, seriously... it was pretty messed up.
there was about half an inch of oil racing across the surface of the store room. oil flood, literally. (callum, I guess you would say "wowses... ... awesome.").
ah well... shit happens. at least I got a bottle of free beer after work.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Enduring the Pain
"I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it...", Memoirs of A Geisha, Arthur Golden.
The story told might seemed to be just another story to the listener. To the speaker, its as if re-living one of the harshest and most miserable period of his life. Maybe he isn't in a contented state for too long that he is able to look back and see the difference. its like a person fell down a cliff, and was fortunate enough to caught a grip on a root hanging out in the middle of the cliff. after fighting with every last strenght he's got left to climb up, he reached the edge of the cliff. He was almost there, but half his body was still hanging in mid air. Ask him how he manage to climb up now, and he would have fall again.
life is too harsh sometime(s). but people often get through the harshest period of their life without knowing how they managed it. something kept them going. but what?
what kept me going?
If I were to relive it, I might have fall all the way down this time.
The story told might seemed to be just another story to the listener. To the speaker, its as if re-living one of the harshest and most miserable period of his life. Maybe he isn't in a contented state for too long that he is able to look back and see the difference. its like a person fell down a cliff, and was fortunate enough to caught a grip on a root hanging out in the middle of the cliff. after fighting with every last strenght he's got left to climb up, he reached the edge of the cliff. He was almost there, but half his body was still hanging in mid air. Ask him how he manage to climb up now, and he would have fall again.
life is too harsh sometime(s). but people often get through the harshest period of their life without knowing how they managed it. something kept them going. but what?
what kept me going?
If I were to relive it, I might have fall all the way down this time.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Matter of seconds II
"Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds." Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho.
something I shared in my "16th of October, 2005" post. I just felt it again.
something I shared in my "16th of October, 2005" post. I just felt it again.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Drowning in Jazz
(Ak, just as I said that I would post it...)
after four sundays straight being called to work.. I was finally free from my misery. being let off, I went to jazz at Lido. Ladies and Gentleman.. Isaac... is back.
reached a conclusion today. us human beings, find joy in suffering. a few quick examples: we choose to climb a mountain with (freakin) heavy equipments strapped to our body, while we can (conveniently) ride (comfortably) on a helicopter. we choose to shout (at the top of our voice) while chatting, in a jazz pub with (real loud) live jazz band (especially the trumpet.. which I like by the way...=P to AK), while we can actually choose a nice quiet spot to talk (about things that have no significant effect to anything or to anyone in anytime of our lifes).
thats what we did today, (I'm sure you wont find me weird saying this) and we enjoyed it.
I drown myself in Jazz today. voluntarily. (its different from when you're young and when you first started to learn how to swim 20 metres away from the shore and your breathing got messed up and you drown). its pleasurable. trying to catch my breath while humming along with the beat, as if trying to suck in oxygen whenever I succesfully emerge my nose out of the water, fingers tapping on the table or glass, trying to follow the tempo, as if hands struggling to get a grip on something that floats. not like drowing in water, I certainly do not hope to be safe from this joyful tragedy.
nothing compliments jazz better than a good flatwhite (though the best is at Masi cafe!)
after goodbyes, I was walking home (which is like 2 minutes away, which is awesome too), the music was still tangling around me. my mouth, my ear, my mind, my heart. its like you just came out from a smoking room, the smoke penetrates into your clothings and follows you until you change. the jazz was following me alright.
looking forward to next sunday already. =)
after four sundays straight being called to work.. I was finally free from my misery. being let off, I went to jazz at Lido. Ladies and Gentleman.. Isaac... is back.
reached a conclusion today. us human beings, find joy in suffering. a few quick examples: we choose to climb a mountain with (freakin) heavy equipments strapped to our body, while we can (conveniently) ride (comfortably) on a helicopter. we choose to shout (at the top of our voice) while chatting, in a jazz pub with (real loud) live jazz band (especially the trumpet.. which I like by the way...=P to AK), while we can actually choose a nice quiet spot to talk (about things that have no significant effect to anything or to anyone in anytime of our lifes).
thats what we did today, (I'm sure you wont find me weird saying this) and we enjoyed it.
I drown myself in Jazz today. voluntarily. (its different from when you're young and when you first started to learn how to swim 20 metres away from the shore and your breathing got messed up and you drown). its pleasurable. trying to catch my breath while humming along with the beat, as if trying to suck in oxygen whenever I succesfully emerge my nose out of the water, fingers tapping on the table or glass, trying to follow the tempo, as if hands struggling to get a grip on something that floats. not like drowing in water, I certainly do not hope to be safe from this joyful tragedy.
nothing compliments jazz better than a good flatwhite (though the best is at Masi cafe!)
after goodbyes, I was walking home (which is like 2 minutes away, which is awesome too), the music was still tangling around me. my mouth, my ear, my mind, my heart. its like you just came out from a smoking room, the smoke penetrates into your clothings and follows you until you change. the jazz was following me alright.
looking forward to next sunday already. =)
Friday, March 17, 2006
St. Patricks Day, John Mayer
"No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrick's Day..."
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrick's Day..."
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
In Pursuit of hacky awesomeness
made up my mind yesterday night. I went to Seapa Hacky online site and bought me-self a blue/yellow 32 panels footbag. cost me 19 bucks. holy shmoully...
ah well, a first time cost is inevitable in order to achieve the highest rank in "Hackilogy", as Hacky Master.
(7 days before it will arrive at my door step!!)
ah well, a first time cost is inevitable in order to achieve the highest rank in "Hackilogy", as Hacky Master.
(7 days before it will arrive at my door step!!)
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
finally, something to be excited about!
the grass on Waitangi Park was dancing with the wind. lying on the grass, I felt the firmness of the ground.. yet the grass was waving like the rough surface of the ocean on a windy day. what I saw was a conflicting to what I felt. but it didnt affect me in anyway... haha...
holding Memoirs of a Geisha in my hand, pushing my elbow hard against the ground, I felt the grass constantly tickling me. Boon, Toby and XJ was enjoying the sun while I burried myself in my book. As I was digging my way in, a ring tone and a mere vibration broke my concentration. I was being suck out of the book grave in an instant.
I hold my soap-like phone, push the green button.......... to cut the story short...
...my brother called and told me he and my sister will come visit on the beginning of June! yeah!!!! haha...
holding Memoirs of a Geisha in my hand, pushing my elbow hard against the ground, I felt the grass constantly tickling me. Boon, Toby and XJ was enjoying the sun while I burried myself in my book. As I was digging my way in, a ring tone and a mere vibration broke my concentration. I was being suck out of the book grave in an instant.
I hold my soap-like phone, push the green button.......... to cut the story short...
...my brother called and told me he and my sister will come visit on the beginning of June! yeah!!!! haha...
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Ochestra Baobab
.jpg)
it was roughly a year ago when the oppotunity of listening to Ochestra Baobab live slide pass me with only an inch of space. I was so close. I had to come to NZ five days before the concert was being held in Malaysia. that wasnt the worst thing, the worst was, five days later, my brother texted me from Malaysia, saying he was there, at the freaking concert. "Dang!" was the first thing which pop into my mind (actually, something more aggressive..haha..).
a year later, now, after Ochestra Baobab's world tour concert, Wellington is holding a festival -New Zealand Art Festival 2006. I stood numb infront of the billboard on a gloomy afternoon. people around me were walking at the top of their pace to avoid the heavy gloom from falling on to them. streaks of silver rain started to shoot down from heaven. I remained still. there it was...
OCHESTRA BAOBAB, 2006, 8th of March, One day only. NZ Art festival 2006.
I made up my mind before I even finish reading the sentence. "I'm so going to this concert". As confident as a NBA three point shooter, I went to the box office, all ready to pull out my debit card, swipe it on the machine with full strength, and then accept my ticket from the women behind the counter with bright on my face. I would eventually make it to the concert the following Wednesday night, and I would enjoy it a lot. Sadly, this story doesnt end this way.
My day dream was being shattered by something heavier than the rain. almost as heavy as the weight of my weekly rent. it was something I couldnt possibly afford. as if some one snatched a loolly away from a three years old, I felt like I lost the grip on something.
the same night, I walked in the quiet city street after work, as empty as my head was. got back, bath, sat in front of my computer. found something tucked under my laptop. an envelope with NZ Art Festival 2006 trademark on it. In it was a ticket to Ochestra Baobab.
thanks Roy. I owe you everything I can give now.
"and so... I would eventually make it to the concert the following wednesday night, and I would enjoy it a lot..."
Sunday, March 05, 2006
"Adam Lives in Theory"
why the inactiveness in here?
read paul's blog recently, she told everyone (or herself?) that she decided to blog more often. as she use to. and she did. While her cycle of writing-more-often rises, my cycle of emptiness kicks in. emptiness coz of emptiness? or emptiness coz of overwhelming thoughts (problems?) ?
I'd say its the latter.
quite often I found myself in this situation, sitting infront my computer with only my table lamp, all alone, in this "create new post" page, writing about how empty my empty head is, while there are a million things I want to shout out ( I'm sure you guys noticed..). finding it hard, I looked for alternative ways to speak out.
been spitting out some. soaking my new flatty with my problems, drowning him with my thoughts. I was lucky he didnt shout for a safety ring and struggle his way out of this pond. or lake. or ocean. or... what ever. In fact, he said, "you shouldn't be contemplating such thing, you should, while being rational, enjoy your life and be happy...". the easy part is knowing it, the hard part is the realization.
its these time where you find the smallest things can give life a sudden halt, stopping the time at the moment, when you're sitting in a park, listening to life music, with friends beside you, enjoying the sun and the crowd. its that moment where you lost touch with the world and connects to your inner joy. its that moment where you'll find peace and complete emptiness. its that moment where you know you're free from all the reality-ness, the problems. and you'll like it although you know its only temporary.
I had fun today. =)
read paul's blog recently, she told everyone (or herself?) that she decided to blog more often. as she use to. and she did. While her cycle of writing-more-often rises, my cycle of emptiness kicks in. emptiness coz of emptiness? or emptiness coz of overwhelming thoughts (problems?) ?
I'd say its the latter.
quite often I found myself in this situation, sitting infront my computer with only my table lamp, all alone, in this "create new post" page, writing about how empty my empty head is, while there are a million things I want to shout out ( I'm sure you guys noticed..). finding it hard, I looked for alternative ways to speak out.
been spitting out some. soaking my new flatty with my problems, drowning him with my thoughts. I was lucky he didnt shout for a safety ring and struggle his way out of this pond. or lake. or ocean. or... what ever. In fact, he said, "you shouldn't be contemplating such thing, you should, while being rational, enjoy your life and be happy...". the easy part is knowing it, the hard part is the realization.
its these time where you find the smallest things can give life a sudden halt, stopping the time at the moment, when you're sitting in a park, listening to life music, with friends beside you, enjoying the sun and the crowd. its that moment where you lost touch with the world and connects to your inner joy. its that moment where you'll find peace and complete emptiness. its that moment where you know you're free from all the reality-ness, the problems. and you'll like it although you know its only temporary.
I had fun today. =)
Saturday, February 18, 2006
*Untitled*
for those whose wondering what happened in my last post, dont worry. its nothing in particular. its just a sum of broken promises, me to others and others to me. its also once a very controversial topic between me and SY. good times aye...
AK came back to new zealand, ICF activities is on the run again, a few more mates on the way back to windy welly. 2006? whats it gonna be?
AK came back to new zealand, ICF activities is on the run again, a few more mates on the way back to windy welly. 2006? whats it gonna be?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Promises
...what happened to them?
people might ask, what is the hardest thing to do? earn enough wealth for 10 generations, before its depleted? fly without the help of any machine? travel in the speed of light? sing 10 octave higher than you usual can? to kill without giving any thoughts? finish a 50,000 words report in 2 hours time? swim accross Atlantic ocean? climb Mount. Everest by exposing every inch of your skin?
or merely, fullfulling a little promise you made just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle while ago?
I dont know what happened to them. I have only myself to blame. and I'm sorry.
people might ask, what is the hardest thing to do? earn enough wealth for 10 generations, before its depleted? fly without the help of any machine? travel in the speed of light? sing 10 octave higher than you usual can? to kill without giving any thoughts? finish a 50,000 words report in 2 hours time? swim accross Atlantic ocean? climb Mount. Everest by exposing every inch of your skin?
or merely, fullfulling a little promise you made just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle while ago?
I dont know what happened to them. I have only myself to blame. and I'm sorry.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Reminder?
a split second. a lighting spark. heart beat quickening. blood traveling in speed of sound. abrupt pause on lung activities. sudden lack of oxygen.
had already forgotten how it feels.
had already forgotten how it feels.
On and on
maybe its like this, things arent always what you want them to be. this is a brainless thing to say. after 21 years living, being part of this eco-system, I ought to know aye...
but still...
things are getting pretty out of hand lately, with all the flatting problems, CV hassle, enduring the loneliness. to be short, i m pretty fucked. now that things are falling into places, I finally get to sit down and think about my blog. this particular post is not the result of the thoughts I put on my blog. its merely... the process. some movements for my fingers to pass time. it goes on and on and on and on... better stop now...
and on and on...
but still...
things are getting pretty out of hand lately, with all the flatting problems, CV hassle, enduring the loneliness. to be short, i m pretty fucked. now that things are falling into places, I finally get to sit down and think about my blog. this particular post is not the result of the thoughts I put on my blog. its merely... the process. some movements for my fingers to pass time. it goes on and on and on and on... better stop now...
and on and on...
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Not beauty...
just as i was contemplating... this popped out in between pages of Cloud of Sparrows, by Takashi Matsuoka.
"Beauty can be colder than the harshest winter's day. It is love, not beauty, that warms."
"Beauty can be colder than the harshest winter's day. It is love, not beauty, that warms."
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
A Series of Unfortunate Events 2006
it starts here...
1. locked my keys in the car during the trip down south
2. ... and then a flat tyre (cost me 110 bucks for a new one)
3. being ditch around as a homeless piece of shit
3. backpack stolen by some jerk (half of my clothings gone)
.
.
.
4. whats next? bring it on man, bring it on...
1. locked my keys in the car during the trip down south
2. ... and then a flat tyre (cost me 110 bucks for a new one)
3. being ditch around as a homeless piece of shit
3. backpack stolen by some jerk (half of my clothings gone)
.
.
.
4. whats next? bring it on man, bring it on...
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunset on Highway No. 1
(29.01.2006, 6.36pm)
was driving in the golden ray, when i abruptly stopped my car at the side of the road and took this picture.
Chinese New Year
in between armies of pine trees, below the starry night, the ocean was roaring. I was lying on the lean-down driver's seat of my rented Nissan Sunny, looking out the window, with JA dead asleep beside me. today was what chinese call "year 30th day", in other words, a day where chinese throughout the world have reunion dinner with their families, the day before Chinese New Year.
under the murky lights of the stars, there was a sudden shiver down my spine.
I miss my family.
under the murky lights of the stars, there was a sudden shiver down my spine.
I miss my family.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Just Another Morning
sitting on my chair in my cold cold room, facing my laptop. look out the window.
(thought: shit, its raining so heavily outside. just came back yesterday night from sydney, hoping today would be a nice day, could go for coffee or so...go away rain, go away...)
couldnt bare the bright reflection of the wet scene, I sweep my glance back to the screen.
(thought: last few days in this flat huh? gonna miss it... what should i have for breakfast? dont have any food... cant go out for food cause of the rain)
my mouth whispering the lyric of the song playing on my computer.
(thought: hm...)
(thought: hm...)
(thought: damn I'm hungry...)
(thought: shit, its raining so heavily outside. just came back yesterday night from sydney, hoping today would be a nice day, could go for coffee or so...go away rain, go away...)
couldnt bare the bright reflection of the wet scene, I sweep my glance back to the screen.
(thought: last few days in this flat huh? gonna miss it... what should i have for breakfast? dont have any food... cant go out for food cause of the rain)
my mouth whispering the lyric of the song playing on my computer.
(thought: hm...)
(thought: hm...)
(thought: damn I'm hungry...)
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
As One
when the sea and sky merge as one, you'll know its a fine day. fine day it was.
at Mount Maunganui's peak, the gentle sea breeze was sliding across my skin, as if i'm standing in between forever running velvet. though the sun was harsh, but the warmth was having a hard time reaching us with the chillin breeze in the way.
230 metres below, two little island was parking not far away from the long streched beach. in between, were tiny dots of people swimming, playing with the waves. the white sand separates the blue sea and green grass, after the grass was a black road. layers of different world being mend together.
alone on the rocks, face to the sea, i could hear from behind, footsteps at ease, strolling from side to side. tourists chattering away. laughter occassionally cracking out.
the breath of the sea continued to embrace everything in its way, i closed my eyes, everything as one.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
.jpg)
Goodbyes
under a sand of stars, on the murky streets of Kelburn, the only light shining down on me was the moon. walking alone, yet another chance for me to refresh my mind, and think about what has happened during the past month, and what has yet to become the present.
December. its a huge month for goodbyes.
parents leaving middle earth, after their sons' and daugthers' graduation. friends departing for home country. trips to south island. myself traveling. those whom I was able to hang out with without a hassle, are now friends in distance. physically.
how are ya'll doing?
December. its a huge month for goodbyes.
parents leaving middle earth, after their sons' and daugthers' graduation. friends departing for home country. trips to south island. myself traveling. those whom I was able to hang out with without a hassle, are now friends in distance. physically.
how are ya'll doing?
Friday, December 23, 2005
Its been a year..
since i started writing.
a year ago roughly this time, i was writing something about "time for everything". another christmas has come huh... how will it be this time i wonder?
a year ago roughly this time, i was writing something about "time for everything". another christmas has come huh... how will it be this time i wonder?
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
A Series of Unfortunate Events (reprise)
11. worst of all, my parents are coming this saturday for my graduation. cept there is no graduation to go to.
sorry, but i have to say something.
"fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccc
ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!"
sorry, but i have to say something.
"fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccc
ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!"
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
A Series of Unfortunate Events 2005
1. a break up
2. shared a room with the wrong guy (for one whole sem)
3. then, my dog died
4. had a terrible terrible stomach ache
5. broke my thumb over a dare
6. hence poverty (unable to work with my broken thumb)
7. hence 2 whole months of inconveniency
8. unable to take my exam (broken thumb too)
9. an agroetat grade on my transcript (passing without a grade)
10.and now, I am denied my permission to attend my graduation
but in the end, "who fucking cares?" AK slapped me with these words, "count your blessings!" she added.
for that, I thank you, AK.
2. shared a room with the wrong guy (for one whole sem)
3. then, my dog died
4. had a terrible terrible stomach ache
5. broke my thumb over a dare
6. hence poverty (unable to work with my broken thumb)
7. hence 2 whole months of inconveniency
8. unable to take my exam (broken thumb too)
9. an agroetat grade on my transcript (passing without a grade)
10.and now, I am denied my permission to attend my graduation
but in the end, "who fucking cares?" AK slapped me with these words, "count your blessings!" she added.
for that, I thank you, AK.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
"Different Names for the Same Thing"
By, Death Cab for Cutie
Alone on a train aimless in wonder
An outdated map crumbled in my pocket
But I didn't care where I was going'
Cause they're all different names for the same place.
The coast disappeared when the sea drowned the sun
And I knew no words to share with anyone
The boundaries of language I quietly cursed
And all the different names for the same thing
There are different names for the same things
There are different names for the same things...
Monday, November 28, 2005
Dick Heads
this is not an agressive post.
Been watching an american drama call The OC (I know I know, you might say that its gay) it is, some part of it. but its not not worth a watch. up until now, ive finish the first four episodes of the second season.
in the drama, every dick head seems to turn out to be a nice person. not completely, but there is part of the dick head's personality which is still likable. Im of coz, not stupid enough to not realise that its a flippin' drama. and real life is much more complicated than that.
but why not? dick heads around you might be your next best friend. give it a go?
Been watching an american drama call The OC (I know I know, you might say that its gay) it is, some part of it. but its not not worth a watch. up until now, ive finish the first four episodes of the second season.
in the drama, every dick head seems to turn out to be a nice person. not completely, but there is part of the dick head's personality which is still likable. Im of coz, not stupid enough to not realise that its a flippin' drama. and real life is much more complicated than that.
but why not? dick heads around you might be your next best friend. give it a go?
Friday, November 25, 2005
Masquerade!
"Paper faces on parade, Masquerade! Hide your face so the world can never find you"?
solution?
Break huh?
seems like everyone is taking a break on blogging, holidays huh? summers around the corner, maybe I should also take a break, twist my face to the real side of the world...
and embrace it.
and embrace it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Fractured
its not until you have one yourself that you'll notice, they are all around.
walking into the library, a chinese guy with great sense of fashion (prob. a rich-son-of-a-bitch), with an arm cast sitting on the bench just beside the entrance of the library saw me with mine (cast), we both nodded (showing familiarity). walking down the street, a lady in layers of coat, had a cast on her left arm, splinting accross her right shoulder, walked pass. she pretended she didnt see me (the fact that she got the same thing as a short dark asian?). another guy, casually dressed, had a cast on his right leg. he was tense while trying to swing his cast accross a zebra crossing where a Nissan Fairlady was waiting (that was sad, but fun to watch). In the church, a guy with an orange arm cast (a cool cast colour) who was very excited about the preach kept raising his hand, shouting "awesome!" or "yeah!" (wondering if that hurt?)
reasons may vary accross people, chinese might be involved in a fight after getting reeeal drunk, women in coat might have slipped in the toilet, guy crossing street might be involve in an acciddent (riding a motorcycle), guy in church, bicycle accident? defending Christ? who knows.
as for me, I did a handstand and... wasnt a very heroic way of getting a fractured thumb (may sound small, but its major), certainly wasnt the way I imagine I would get my first fractured bone or experience my first operation (which by the way was awesome, its just like in the movies, well.. almost, cept there werent cute doctors and sexy nurses). my thumb was so fractured that the hospital actually had to call in a hand specialist from another clinic to do the operation on me. but this fractured (as well as those i mentioned) was easy, all it took was a good surgeon (or two), a good anaesthetist (definitely one), a generous insurance company, a firm cast, and 6 weeks of inconveniency (oh, tell me bout that...).
what about a fractured heart?
what will it take to cure this? time? will power? maturity (of coz, mentally)? or another fractured heart to share with?
Dont ask me, coz non of these worked, least not on me.
"looking down the hunger for your love, but no way to feed it" by, Jeff Buckley.
walking into the library, a chinese guy with great sense of fashion (prob. a rich-son-of-a-bitch), with an arm cast sitting on the bench just beside the entrance of the library saw me with mine (cast), we both nodded (showing familiarity). walking down the street, a lady in layers of coat, had a cast on her left arm, splinting accross her right shoulder, walked pass. she pretended she didnt see me (the fact that she got the same thing as a short dark asian?). another guy, casually dressed, had a cast on his right leg. he was tense while trying to swing his cast accross a zebra crossing where a Nissan Fairlady was waiting (that was sad, but fun to watch). In the church, a guy with an orange arm cast (a cool cast colour) who was very excited about the preach kept raising his hand, shouting "awesome!" or "yeah!" (wondering if that hurt?)
reasons may vary accross people, chinese might be involved in a fight after getting reeeal drunk, women in coat might have slipped in the toilet, guy crossing street might be involve in an acciddent (riding a motorcycle), guy in church, bicycle accident? defending Christ? who knows.
as for me, I did a handstand and... wasnt a very heroic way of getting a fractured thumb (may sound small, but its major), certainly wasnt the way I imagine I would get my first fractured bone or experience my first operation (which by the way was awesome, its just like in the movies, well.. almost, cept there werent cute doctors and sexy nurses). my thumb was so fractured that the hospital actually had to call in a hand specialist from another clinic to do the operation on me. but this fractured (as well as those i mentioned) was easy, all it took was a good surgeon (or two), a good anaesthetist (definitely one), a generous insurance company, a firm cast, and 6 weeks of inconveniency (oh, tell me bout that...).
what about a fractured heart?
what will it take to cure this? time? will power? maturity (of coz, mentally)? or another fractured heart to share with?
Dont ask me, coz non of these worked, least not on me.
"looking down the hunger for your love, but no way to feed it" by, Jeff Buckley.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
*An update*
apologizing for my long-not-updated blog. didnt feel like updating my blog with my doubled-size thumb (its heavy when you hold it above the key board for a long time). will not be updating my blog until i update it, hahaha, that can be whenever, so stay put. in the mean time, here is an update of my latelys:
1. went to south island with sin yee, roy and grace. it was awesome. it was a budget, economy (what ever you call it) trip for me, didnt do bungy or sky dive or such. a road trip, but it was enjoyable. my next trip down south will be during end of Jan. before that, to sydney for a week.
2. my thumbness will be restore next monday, going back to hospital, cast will be taken off. may the world be prepare for isaac's unleash.
3. mom and dad coming over in round 20 days. excited!
4. dont have any plans for now, tryin to get a decent summer job, or better a permenant job. in the mean time, will try and have heaps of fun (after the stupid cast being taken off) haha..
5. will upload a few pics from my trip down south later.
til then, peace out!
1. went to south island with sin yee, roy and grace. it was awesome. it was a budget, economy (what ever you call it) trip for me, didnt do bungy or sky dive or such. a road trip, but it was enjoyable. my next trip down south will be during end of Jan. before that, to sydney for a week.
2. my thumbness will be restore next monday, going back to hospital, cast will be taken off. may the world be prepare for isaac's unleash.
3. mom and dad coming over in round 20 days. excited!
4. dont have any plans for now, tryin to get a decent summer job, or better a permenant job. in the mean time, will try and have heaps of fun (after the stupid cast being taken off) haha..
5. will upload a few pics from my trip down south later.
til then, peace out!
Friday, November 11, 2005
To South - Day 1
Arrived in Blenheim around 11 am, decided to visit Montana vinyard, (which is the brand Edwin order a wine from online). Will look around town by foot for the next hour.
next destination will be Kaikoura where we will be watching sperm whale on a boat. by the end of the day, we would have reached Christchurch. roughly 4 and a half hour away from Picton.
til then, peace out!
next destination will be Kaikoura where we will be watching sperm whale on a boat. by the end of the day, we would have reached Christchurch. roughly 4 and a half hour away from Picton.
til then, peace out!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Guy Fawkes Day in Wellington
.jpg)
Its a day to remember Guy Fawkes's attemp to blow up the parliament in England a few hundred years ago.
fireworks, could be so beautiful, yet dangerous.
St. James Theatre
.jpg)
went to watch a ballet call The Nutcraker with Ting Ting, this is the interior of the theatre hall.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Anna "Kourrrreen" Karin
Me, Anna, and Cal (and Esther, who took the picture) in Wellington airport (1st of Nov). its was 430 in the morning (can see it from Call's face), her flight was one and a half hour away. sad that my dear dear flatie was going away, will miss you soooo much...
once said by her to me, "enjoy time pass, coz here, it will surely stay the same".
Monday, October 31, 2005
Hung-over-Sunday
.jpg)
after nine of these, and three glasses of wine, what do you expect?
Saturday, Daniel finally finished his last exam, which gave both of us another lame excuse to celebrate over it (although I'm not sure what am I suppose to be celebrating...) got a 12 pack Stella Artois, and a 6 pack Mac's Gold, within a few hours, all the golden bubbly liquid was gone, gone deep down under.
11 pm, Daniel, who had a few additional shots of vodka, was still in great shape, changing into his clubbing costume, jelling up his hair, putting on his perfume, his mouth singing something I couldnt identify. me? I was totally wasted. how wasted? couldnt even decide which side of my shoe to be put on which side of my feet. even cut myself on my fingers while trying to pick up the bottle we broke a few hours ago. my blood flowing uncontrolably.usually I would try to stop the bleeding immediatly, but the alchohol made bleeding so facinating that I sat there and looked at my finger until it was in red.
(time unknown), eventually got to town, me and Daniel was feeling reaaaaaal bad by then, made the decision to go home. we were both reasonably fit, and walking home would be "usually" sweet for us. but given our "unusual" situation, it was expectedly challenging (remember, my place is at least 35 minutes walk away from town). after walking up a few flights of stairs, I squated down on the paveway of The Terrace, and started puking out my dinner, the Stella Artois and wine... wasted (pun intented). looked over my shoulder, Daniel was actually doing the exact same thing, with the exact same pose.
Sunday, woke up with a reaaal heavy head, and soft legs. Daniel? he basically didnt wake up at all. haha, man... wasted.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Pardon the picture :P
.jpg)
when you loss the ability to do something, interest is loss simultaneously.
I'm lucky its temporary. :)
.jpg)
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Flare of eternity
.jpg)
like a wing spreading from neverland, armoring us from darkness and ugliness.
its a short while, but its worth standing still from work, putting down everything which burdens, take a deep breath and watch the grand finale of the sun's effort to shine the world.
Why worry?
if i have a whole world of christian praying for me? but i am still, kind of...
thanks...
to those who visit (no matter you saw me or not)
to those who texted (didnt have enough credit to reply all, sorry)
to those who accompanied me to the hospital (good times, ei?)
to those who pray (did and will)
to those who worried for me
to those who gave me food (fruits and M&M's)
to those who gave me hugs
to those who went to the hospital to give me a surprise visit (but didnt see me as I was home already)
to those who offered me money to help out with my living expenses
I appreciate them all.
thanks...
to those who visit (no matter you saw me or not)
to those who texted (didnt have enough credit to reply all, sorry)
to those who accompanied me to the hospital (good times, ei?)
to those who pray (did and will)
to those who worried for me
to those who gave me food (fruits and M&M's)
to those who gave me hugs
to those who went to the hospital to give me a surprise visit (but didnt see me as I was home already)
to those who offered me money to help out with my living expenses
I appreciate them all.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
F.r.i.e.n.d.s.
and so, I stood in front of my door step, looking at four of them leave, until they were no where in sight. the early evening sun was beating down on them. on me.
The warmth was soothing. I stood there for a few more minutes in company of the sun.
I wanted to tell them how greatful I was for their visit as they left, for it must have been an effort-full journey for them to come to my place. I wanted to give eveyone of them a hug, for I have been treated by them in ways I do not deserve. I wanted to give each of them a smile, for that was what they came to see. but all I could offer was merely a few frowns, for things had been really overwhelming.
Think what I am trying to say is (if you guys are reading this... 7 of you), I know your caring for me, and I know I am not good in expressing myself, still (learning low context culture huh?), but I appreciate every little things you guys did for me. and that sometimes though I might seemed moody, its enjoyable to just be around. and that part of my frowns lately was because the thought of you guys, my family for the pass months, are going to leave for Malaysia, without me in just a few months time. and that I know, I will miss out a lot, too much in fact when you guys are in Malaysia. I envy that.
so, cheers, F.a.m.i.l.y.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)